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The TRUTH about the female Orgasm!
How to go from:
By Chris Thomlinson.
First and foremost, despite the findings of Susan Quilliam’s book ‘Women on sex’, published in 1996, that only 10% of women orgasamed through penetrative sex, that need not be the case as this in-depth help and advice article will show you.
For those of you reading this who have either seen or heard about what is referred to as ‘the Fake orgasm’ scene from the film ‘When Harry met Sally’, it is worth pointing out the obvious: Meg Ryan’s fake orgasm in the diner was scripted. In other words, it was nothing anywhere near that of her own orgasms, nor that of most if not all women, and for one singular reason. The fact that orgasms, their responses, differ from one to the other and not just one woman to the other, something I make clear in my genuine erotic stories (over 500 published since 2010).
With that in mind, you don’t need to have read ‘The truth about female sexuality’ before reading this; however, I strongly recommend that you read it after you have read this, as some of the points touched on in this article are explained in greater detail in ‘The truth about female sexuality’.
From the beginning of time right up to the present, women have been denied their full potential. Little wonder, then, why the figure is so high (90% fail to orgasm during penetrative sex), while women have the potential to be multi orgasmic. Once a post-orgasmic state is reached, prior to penetrative sex, others should follow, provided the woman’s ‘needs’ are respected.
The female orgasm, in particular, what it takes to produce one, is like baking a cake: Follow the instructions and you have a perfect or near perfect result. On the other hand, if you simply throw all the ingredients into a baking tin, with zero preparation, you will end up with a failed mess.
Sex education at schools, thanks in large part to former Prime Ministers John Major and Tony Blair and hundreds of MP’s, a percentage of who were women, educates boys who grow up to be men, to treat women as sex objects; more to the point, a substitute for a man’s flexible masturbatory hand, when, by God’s grace and creation, women are sexually superior to men!
God created women with the potential to get more pleasure (multiple orgasms) from sexual intimacy than men. A man’s erogenous zone is situated at the apex of his thighs. By contrast, a woman’s body is covered with erogenous zones. From the hair on her head all the way down to that of having her big toe sucked.
What, then, is missing from a woman’s sex education? All in all, quite a lot when you come to realise it!
To understand things that bit clearer, there are 2 divisions of women.
i) Those in a relationship who make love frequently.
ii) Those in a relationship who make love infrequently, single women who also have sexual relations infrequently and women who have sex for the first time.
The second group may experience a climax, and this is why. After natural childbirth, the otherwise stretched muscles of the vulva and cervix close up as most such parents know. Consequently, going without penetrative sex can result in the muscles closing up even more, hence the term ’Tight pussy’.
For those who make love frequently, foreplay, in particular, stimulation of the woman’s erogenous zones to make her post orgasmic, is what’s missing from sex education at school.
Before getting to that, there are two other ingredients. Without the main one of them, however, the chances of post orgasm are greatly reduced.
Whereas a man can be turned on like a tap, women require something more. First and foremost, men are not mind readers, despite the assumptions of women who went on an actual date, courtesy of the TV show ‘Blind Date’. The book ‘Sex Life’, published in 1990, included this notable piece of research: 84% of UK women want men to initiate sexual intimacy, compared with just 14% of European women east of the UK.
The benefits of women initiating sexual intimacy are: 1. It occurs when the woman is in the mood. 2. Consent is given without the need to be asked. 3. The woman is exercising a level of control.
While men have a tendency to be far from subtle with their approach, women, on the other hand, should be subtle:
‘I’m just going up to bed.’ Is a hint for him to join her, otherwise, why say it!
We live in a modern world, one with DVD recorders that have Hard drives and stand alone hard drive recorders, and so there is no excuse for the man to say: ‘I’m watching a programme,’ one that can be reordered and watched at another time, while the woman’s needs are taken care of and for a time of no less than 1 hour. ‘When the mind is willing…the body will follow’.
Ultimately, though, it all comes down to ‘Pushing the right buttons’.
A woman’s body is something to be worshipped and not rushed. Foreplay alone can take up 30 minutes of that, while at least three sexual positions, each one resulting in a female orgasm, should be utilised to facilitate her euphoria.
Of course, sexual intimacy can begin anywhere and anytime. A partner arriving home from work, in the lounge and kitchen, even a separate dining area, before moving onto the bedroom. If the bedroom is upstairs, some may think the time it takes in going between the two may dampen the couple’s ardour. I recommend watching the remake of ‘The Thomas Crown Affair’, in which Pierce Brosnan and Renee Russo make use of the stairs in the film’s love scene.
A woman should be undressed slowly, preferably by her partner as he kisses her. Not just the lips, but her face and neck along with nibbling the lobes of her ears. Use of a tongue, especially when kissing the mouth, is very much a foretaster of oral sex, that which, above all else, speeds a woman’s initial orgasm and a must for 84% of women, according to Cosmopolitan UK.
Before that, the woman’s body should be enjoyed, and not just for its beauty. Breasts, areola and nipples, in particular, are sensitive to arousal. Grazing a nipple while tracing a circle around an areola causes pleasurable teasing. Sucking the nipple while teasingly flicking the tip, also helps, while it's worth pointing out that a positive minded woman can climax from just being kissed.
Danish anatomist, Casper Bartholin the younger (1655 to 1738), put his name to two small pea-like glans situated on either side of the entrance to the vulva. One of their functions is to manufacture a mucus which provides lubrication.
It is believed that only two drops are produced, usually around the plateau phase of excitement.
The female orgasm can produce more than two drops of fluid, while squirting, the ultimate female orgasm, is possible. (See g spot.)
The central point of stimulation, for both men and women, is the same. A long phallus for the men, while the clitoris, a miniature phallus, is the woman’s. Whether through self gratification by the woman, herself, or her partner stroking the woman’s mound of Venus, the heel of the palm acts against the clitoris contained in its small sheath. In that sense, if the woman is right handed, the man should be sat to her right.
Attention to a nipple in conjunction with that of the woman’s mound and clitoris doubles the stimulation and excitement she can experience.
Ultimately, the use of a tongue to lick the clitoris is imperative to achieving a post orgasmic state while it doesn’t necessarily have to stop at just one and in the same position; in particular, that of a post orgasmic woman grinding herself into her lover laid below her.
Toe sucking: The back cover of Madonna’s ‘Erotica’ LP/CD shows the queen of pop as she’s known, sucking someone’s big toe. The effect of that, as explained with a diagram in one edition of ‘Dateline’ magazine, is that the big toe is connected to the vulva through nerve endings. Don’t expect anything other than arousal to come from it, though.
On the point about men not being mind readers. If what he’s doing is ineffective, the woman should suggest something else. Be vocal, ‘Oh my God, YES!’ especially when he gets it oh so blissfully right!
Teri Hatcher, in addition to playing Lois Lane in the TV series ‘Lois & Clark’, James Bond’s ex in ‘Tomorrow Never dies’, you also played one of the ‘Desperate Housewives’?
Teri Hatcher: ‘That’s right, while I also starred in an episode of ‘Seinfeld’ and films ‘Tango & Cash’ as Sly’s sister and ‘Spykids’.
That you did, and as an evil character.
You also appeared on Graham Norton’s chat show when it was on channel 4?
Teri Hatcher: ‘Oh, yes. Quite a revealing interview it was. I take it you mean what I said about a male masseuse getting me, well, horny and simply leaving me wanting?’
That’s the one, while it’s also yet another example of a man, not so much being a mind reader but not taking you, a Hollywood actress, for granted.
Whether to make the clitoris more noticeable to their partner and or to wear skimpy bikini’s like the Brazillian one (as it’s known) in this photo, some modern day women either shave some, most or all of their pubic hair or have a bikini wax or some other form of grooming done.
The g spot: (spelt differently for men: ‘g-spot’, as in the case of blonde and blond, respectively) Named after German gynecologist Ernst Gräfenberg, is located in between the woman’s outer body and her vulva. According to ‘the Loving Touch’ (consultant Dr Andrew Stanway), stimulation of the g spot needs to be done from both inside and outside. During penetrative sex, the crown of the phallus, depending on where the g spot is and how long the man’s phallus is, can rub the g spot. It is also said that, stimulation of the g spot can make women squirt. It is the highest and most noticeable orgasm a woman can have, resulting in a translucent fountain like stream emitting from her vulva and should not be confused with urination. During copulation, some women can squirt several times, as many as five before the man climaxes.
Tie and tease games. According to, not so much research, American personal adverts include ‘English Culture’ for those advertisers who enjoy BDSM. It’s worth noting that, whereas ‘SM’ relates to Sado-Masochism (the use of whips and paddles etc), ‘BD’ relates to Bondage and Domination.
From what you’ve read, learnt so far, a woman’s body needs to be brought to and beyond the height of sexual euphoria. Blindfolding a woman can heighten her senses, in particular, that of being touched. A long feather, ice from a drink, even juice from a fruit (grape, plum, orange) or a liquid drink. With or without a blindfold, tying her wrist to say the headboard of a bed with a silk or nylon scarf. Her lover then teasers her with their various instruments of pleasure: fingers, hands, mouth, lips and tongue.
The reason for tying the woman and not the man is simple. It lasts longer while making her reach a post orgasmic state, time and again. Some men, on the other hand, can only achieve one climax.
Dusting is a light form of spanking the buttocks. For the alarmists among you, it is worth noting that, sexual positions where the woman is facing away from her partner, either his groin will slap her buttocks or her buttocks will slap his groin.
Stood to her left side, and with her leant forward (facing a wall), her partner places their fingertips and only their fingertips inside the woman’s vulva. Using the fingertips, and, again, only the fingertips of the right hand, dust one of her buttocks. When she recoils down, her partner’s fingers slip inside her vulva. Use of the thumb to stroke her clit is advantageous.
Sexual positions. When Carol Vorderman appeared on the National Lottery show all those years ago, she inadvertently indicated that there are also over 14 million ways to make love, and that’s without factoring in foreplay. The National Lottery uses 49 balls. Each draw sees 6 main balls drawn from a machine. In the 1990’s, someone published a book entitled ’50 sexual positions’, which is 1 more than the balls (49). The key difference between the two is this.
The order in which the balls appear has no baring on the 14 million permutations, compared with that of sexual positions. Notably, the numbers 1, 2 and 3 have 6 permutations.
Aside from the fact that most couples won’t hit anywhere near 10% of 1 million, it is worth pointing out that a certain amount of the positions are unfavourable to women. For example, ‘Wheelbarrow’. The woman’s hands and forearms act as the legs while her forelegs act as the handles.
On a note about how many positions, there is this line from Prince’s song ‘Get off’:
’23 positions in a one night stand!’.
Being the UK’s foremost writer and author of over 700 Genuine erotic stories, I have included and described over 26 sexual positions that are favourable to women. Specifically those where the man is able to ‘stroke the woman’s clitoris’.
1. The missionary position aside, which relies on the man’s pubic bone to hit against the clitoris, he should, instead, kneel up and rest each of the woman’s legs against one of his shoulders.
2. With the woman laid down on a sofa, she places her inner most leg against the backrest and her other leg over the side; this opens her up more and allows her to climax several times while preventing her from closing her legs around her partner and applying the pressure needed to make him climax; don’t, therefore, have the man lay on top of her, but at a 45 to 75 degree angle as such, thereby allowing him to stimulate her clitoris with his fingers.
3. Similar to 2; however, she places her inner leg somewhat vertical on the backrest and her other leg along the edge of the sofa.
4. Kneeling on a sofa and with her hands on the backrest, her partner then enters her from behind. He is able to then stimulate her vulva and clitoris with his right hand while caressing her breast(s) with his left one; also, by lowering his head underneath her right arm he can lick her right breast. Try gently pulling back on her longish hair with an inward stroke, that then arches her back, and, having released her hair, he can caress her full breasts with both hands.
5. Remove the cushions from the sofa and place them on top of the one on an armchair so that they elevate the seat to just below the rim of the armrests. With the woman laid across it and her *hands behind her partner’s neck he can then enter her. *This alleviates her back from a hard armrest while allowing her to watch her partner move in and out of her.
NB. 50% of couples have watched themselves make love in a mirror.
6. Although a bed will suffice for this, a floor is better: with the woman wearing high heeled shoes, and the man laying down, she stands over him, with her feet either side of his hips. In lowering herself onto him, she places her hands on his midriff area and moves up and down, quite freely. This is also ideal (on the floor) for men with bad backs.
7. Same as 6, however, she leans back and places her hands on his knees.
8 & 9. The reverse of 6 & 7.
10. With a cloth cover on a (dining room) table, the woman lays on it. Her partner then grasps the cover and pulls both it and her towards him. Optionally, he can, having positioned her so that her buttocks are part way over the edge, pleasure her with his tongue before easing her legs back and entering her.
11. Same as 10, only with her legs raised and slanting away from her body as: “\ _ /”, she then places her hands in between her thighs and grasps the edge of the table. Her partner can subsequently be more forceful with his hip swings, knowing that the vigorousness won’t push her back.
12. Remove the cloth/cover from the dining table. In bending over it, her sensitive nipples will no doubt react to the touch of the table’s cold surface. Upon entering her, she subsequently feels the warming sensation of a man’s presence to temper the cold sensation on her nipples; there go, ‘fire and ice’.
13. Same as 12; however, she places her left knee and lower leg on the seat of a nearby chair that is turned to the side.
14. With the man sat on a chair (role-play of a female secretary or boss) or sofa and the woman sat on him, she can then, with her feet braced on the floor, flex her knees and body up and down his manhood while he caresses her breast(s) and or strokes her clitoris.
15. Reverse of 14.
16. This next position, is a more comfortable alternative to that of the love scene from the film ‘Sea of love’, in which Al Pacino’s character is stood and with Elen Barkin’s character’s legs wrapped around his waist – her back against a wall.
With an armchair or sofa, one with a solid backrest, against a wall and having removed the seat cushion, the woman perches herself on top of the back and with her feet resting on the arms in the case of an armchair. Approaching her, but not yet entering her, he instead invites his partner to hold his phallus some half way down the shaft. Then, having peeled back her labia, she then slides the head of his manhood up and down the entrance to her vulva, thereby teasing herself, pleasurably, while lubricating her partner’s phallus before she eases him inside. Having released her outer lips, he then uses one of his hands as a cushion or holds a cushion behind her head, thereby cushioning her head against any such backward movements. She can, having placed her hands around her partner’s waist, motion him back and forth. If she so wishes, she can wrap her legs around him, just as in the film.
The following are probably best done on a bed:
17. With the woman on top and her back to her partner, he places his hands at her waist and raises his knees, thereby giving her thighs support while she bounces/moves up and down on him.
18. Reverse of 17.
19. As I recall, the name for this position is ‘the Crab’. The woman lays on her back with a pillow placed horizontally under her buttocks. That lifts her legs up with her thighs against her midriff and her lower legs at a right angle. Her partner, crab-like, squats over her thighs.
20. Having placed a pillow, lengthways, under the woman’s middle to lower back, the man kneels in front of her and places her legs around his waist, her thighs resting against his. Alternatively, she can lock/cross her ankles behind him.
21. Similar to 20. The man places his hands at her hips and raises her higher. The woman places her legs so that her inner shins are beside his elbows.
22. The man kneels up and bends forward. Placing his hands under her buttocks with her sat up on his lap, he motions her up and down.
23. The woman lays near the edge of the bed with her knees and lower legs over the side. The man places his hands either side of her as if doing press ups; ideal for heavy set men.
24. With the woman’s legs raised up and eased back so that her knees are almost touching her breasts and her lower legs or ankles are resting on the man’s shoulders, he then places his hands on the bed just above and to the side of where her shoulders are. Like this, she can place her hands on his waist or buttocks, and motion him in and out of her at her own pace and rhythm.
25. ‘Spoons’. Both partners are laid on their left side with the man laid behind. He can draw up her right leg, bent at the knee foot placed on a bed, floor or sofa.
26. Place two pillows (depending on how plump they are), horizontally, one on top of the other. With the woman laid on them, face down and with her abdomen near the top, the man enters her from behind. This will probably only work if the man is well endowed = 8” plus.
27. In the case of women who are right handed (as explained, self-gratification makes that side of her clitoris, etc sensitive), laid on her left side, her partner first moves her right leg so that it is in a sitting position. He then kneels either side of her trailing left leg and enters her. He can then position her right leg as he wishes. In this position, in particular, with her right leg resting against his left shoulder, he can lower his head and kiss her while pleasuring her breasts or a breast and her clit with his fingers. Alternatively, he can use his mouth and fingers on her breasts and his other fingers on her clitoris.
28. For the agile and flexible woman. Place a pillow horizontally under her shoulders. With her legs drawn up and against her body, so that her breasts are in between them and her ankles are either side of her head. If she wants to and can, lean her head forward and place her feet behind her head. Beforehand, the man could lick her mound and clit to orgasm.
29. This final position is one best suited for that which Robert Plant, Led Zeppelin’s singer, indicated the title of their LP ‘In through the out door’ was in reference to during the band’s Knebworth concert. With the woman knelt in front of a sofa (not an armchair or bed) her shoulders and head, turned to one side, resting on the middle cushion (or there abouts), she reaches back and draws her buttocks open. After penetration of just the glans, she then rocks her body back and forth at her own pace.
Erotic, sexual love, ‘for the mind and body!’
In addition to being the UK’s foremost author of genuine erotica, Chris Thomlinson is also the UK’s foremost erotologist, expert in the field of erotic, sexual love. To find out more, read these two articles: ‘The truth about female sexuality’ (how a woman’s sexual superiority has been undermined and suppressed by Governments since the beginning of time to the present and beyond), and ‘What is sexy!’ (a more detailed look at a woman’s choice of clothes).
Newly added. The Rudiments of foreplay.
To read this helpful and descriptively explicit add-on to ‘the Truth about the female orgasm’, click the ‘foreplay’ link below. Otherwise click ‘Contents’.
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